Get The Fuck Out of My Head

First of all,

Fuck you.

Fuck you and your stupid little pictures

And your silly voices.

Fuck you for forgetting the big shit

And hanging onto that memory from the third grade

When someone called me Bigfoot and I felt the need to shave my whole body.

Fuck you for getting overwhelmed at the grocery store

But not working at all during my step dad’s funeral.

Fuck you for peaking in high school.

Fuck you for forgetting that one line I thought about last winter when I was the saddest

And again for changing all the damn time.

Fuck you for the drinking habits

And for not being silent while I enjoyed the high.

Fuck you for always being stuck there

Right between my two ears

For not protecting my heart more often.

Fuck you for remembering

And not remembering

And for always remembering

The way it felt to want to die.